Actual hunger vs the fear of hunger

Hello, lovely ladies. And welcome to the podcast. I'm so excited to have you here. And I just wanted to say, thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for tuning in and thank you for taking this time out for yourself, where you can really learn the mindset tools to get to the root cause of your overreating and actually deal with it for good.

So. That takes guts to own up to a problem and be like, you know what? I really want to seek some help for this. So firstly, well done to you and I'm so proud of you now let's get into the topic for today.

This is a topic that comes up again and again with my clients and so I wanted to talk about it on the podcast and it is the difference between actual hunger and the fear of hunger.

So every time you eat, I want you to ask. Are you actually hungry or are you fearing future hunger? Now I want to talk to you about what fearing hunger may show up as and why it happens. So firstly, why it happens, most of us have grown up in a society where hunger has been demonised, right? So we've been taught growing up that being hungry will ruin my metabolism.

Because for so long, we were told that we need to eat multiple meals a day. We need to, have our meals and then our snacks and that if we are not constantly eating, then we are ruining our metabolism. But I just want to offer you a different perspective. If you think about how our ancestors ate, so in the caveman cave women days, they had to actually hunt for their food, right?

That's why they called it the hunter gatherer days, they had to hunt for their food and gather their food. Right. So there was often periods of days where they weren't actually eating. Now, I'm not saying in this day and age, not to eat for days. I know a lot of people do do intermittent fasting or extended fast, where they don't eat for, 72 hours.

I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about in this day and age where we are like not eating in between our meals. If we actually feel even a whisper of hunger, then we may kind of have those thoughts running in through our head. Oh gosh, that's gonna ruin our metabolism. So let's eat. Right. So I want you to think, is that what's going on for you?

Are you worried that if you are hungry, that you will ruin your metabolism, because if that may be the case, then you're gonna do everything in your power to not feel hungry. So you may overeat in advance to stop you from feeling hungry in the. Right. So ask yourself, is that going on? Another thing that I see very often, because most of my clients have had decades worth of food trauma.

They've tried every diet under the sun, and none of them have worked. They may have worked for a short amount of time, but then they stop working and they feel so disheartened because they've worked so hard at that diet. And it's still not working. Right. And every time they've worked hard at a diet before it's because they have told themselves that they just need to grind and do it.

They just need to get all their willpower and just do it. And so in the past, when they felt hungry, they have felt deprived or restricted. So now when they come onto the program, they think, oh, you know what? I can't feel hungry because that means that I'm depriving myself. And actually, if I'm depriving myself and restricting myself, then that means that I am not eating in a way that I'm meant to be eating.

And maybe, actually some of them even start thinking, am I being too restrictive? So, you know, does that mean that I'm getting an eating disorder now? Let me be clear. If you do have an eating disorder, then make sure you, go to your GP, to your physician, to actually get some support with this. Cuz there's so many things that can be done for eating disorders.

But if you are struggling with, decades worth of food trauma, where you are actually afraid of hunger, that's slightly different. Okay. So here, when you are thinking, you know what hunger means deprivation, then no one ever wants to feel deprived. Right. So then that means that you're not gonna wanna ever feel hungry either.

Now I'm not saying you should be feeling hungry on purpose, but all I'm saying is that being hungry is a very normal human sensation. Everyone feels hungry now. And again, right. It's a very normal thing. When we are children, we. Feel hungry and we eat. And then when we've eaten enough, we tend to just leave whatever it may be on the plate, even if we haven't finished.

So I notice that it shows up in my parenting, the fear of hunger. So even I'm guilty of this, even being a weight loss coach. And I often say to my kids, things like, make sure you eat it up now because I'm not sure when you'll get food later. I might say, you need to eat it now, or it may run out and we won't have enough later.

So it's, I'm anticipating my children's hunger and kind of like encouraging them to eat more right now. But children Haven, natural hunger signals, and they haven't taught themselves to. Not listen to their hunger signals. Right? So often I would say that to my kids and they would still eat the same amount of food and I realized that that was coming from my scarcity thinking.

So the scarcity thinking being, I don't know when I'm gonna, be able to eat again, so I better eat now. It may run out. So let me make sure I've eaten plenty beforehand. . And so whenever this is showing up for you, I want you to just question, is it actually that you're hungry or are you eating more in advance because you don't want to feel hungry because actually hunger is, very normal.

Everyone is meant to feel a bit of hunger. It's like heat or cold. It's a normal human sensation that we were all meant to feel now. And again, and that it's not actually dangerous. It's just very normal. And also a lot of people often think, things like, I don't want to feel hungry because I don't like how it feels in my body.

a lot of my clients say I get hangry. And then when I'm hangry. So for, for those, who, who aren't aware of the term hangry, hangry just means hungry and angry together. So when you are hungry and angry, then often people describe it as hangry. But what I wanna offer to you is that you are actually angry that you are hungry.

because of the thought in between. So whenever you are experiencing hunger, your thought is something along the lines of, I shouldn't be hungry or I don't want to be hungry. And that thought makes you feel angry. So it's not the hunger that makes you feel angry. It's your thought about the hunger that makes you angry?

So hangry is not actually a thing until you have a thought in between. It could actually be harm as in hungry and calm, right? Because when you are feeling hungry, you may think this is completely normal. Nothing's gone. Which makes you feel calm. So it's always the thought in between that is making you feel that emotion.

So it doesn't mean that every time you feel hungry, you have to feel angry, it would be useful for you to start noticing what are your thoughts about hunger that make you feel angry? Okay. And another thing that causes fear of hunger is that the primitive brain wants you to seek pleasure, avoid pain and stay how.

So, of course you are going to fear hunger, because you are going to consider that every time I feel hungry, then, it's not very pleasurable. It's actually quite painful and it could be threatening your survival, right? Because you are hungry instead of saving all the energy for when there's a famine or when there's a wild bear chasing.

right. So your primitive brain is meant to offer hunger and is meant to have it as a innately, scary experience because it wants you to eat. Right. So, When you are doing that, I want you to notice, how are you doing that for yourself? If you are having this fear of hunger, how are you preparing that? It may be that when you're going out and about you convince yourself that you may get hungry.

So let me pack loads of snacks. And then it may be that even though you're not physically hungry, you are eating those snacks because you are fearing that you may get hungry later and you won't be able to. but why would to ask you is what do you think will happen if you actually feel hungry and you're not able to eat, it may be that you feel some sensations, right?

You may feel a little bit, uncomfortable in your body. You may feel some sensations in your tummy where your tummy's rumbling. You may get some, salvation in your. , if you are getting those sensations, would you be willing to experience those sensations for a short amount of time? And what do you think will happen if you experience them?

Because if you are willing to experience them now, and again, then that would help you normalize the sensation of hunger, which is a very normal human sens. now, let me be clear. I'm not saying that you should feel hungry on purpose and that you should, bring on hunger and like, you know, we'll power yourself through it or anything like that.

Not at all we eat when we are physically hungry and we stop when we've had enough. But what so many of us do is over eaters is that we in advance to. Future hunger. And if this is what you are doing, then this is definitely something to, consider because if hunger is very normal, then that isn't something that, you would want to continue doing.

It shows up quite often in, people who are doing intermittent fasting. So they may say something like I'm not eating until tomorrow. So I bet eat a bit more now. And this is just some more scarcity fueled thinking, right? Because, when you are thinking that, oh, I need to eat a bit more now it's because you're thinking that you're not gonna have access to food then.

Right. And you know what, there's nothing wrong with that because that scar thinking kept you safe. Right. And if it's happening for you, nothing has gone wrong, but it's just being aware of it. And knowing that it's just not useful. because I want you to think, how do you feel when you think the only way to lose weight is to deprive myself?

The feeling that comes up for so many of my clients is something along the lines of disgusted or disappointed. And then what do they do from that place? They avoid hunger at all. And if they do feel hungry, they do everything in their power to stop feeling hungry. And if they do then eat, they beat themselves up.

So then what they create for themselves is they keep resisting, the hunger and they don't embrace it now. And again, when it does come up, they in their minds make it a big deal. And so the hunger always has power over them then because they're not like moving towards the hunger and allowing it to be there now.

And. right. So I want you to notice how that shows up for you is that happening for you? And the difference between the fear of hunger and actual hunger is actual hunger. You'll notice as it will come as a wave, and if you don't actually eat in that time, your body will tap into your fat stores and the hunger will just kind of like level.

Now the caveat to that is if you're having a lot of sugar and flour and you're not used to tapping into your fat stores, you may feel some symptoms like lightheaded. You may feel a bit faint. You may feel like, the urgency to eat. This is all normalized. When you have normalized your hunger hormones, which is something that I'll be teaching, how to do in the group coaching program.

So if you're worried about that, don't worry. As soon as you come into the group coaching program, I will run you through that. Very clearly. . if you're actually fearing hunger, the way to help with that is to actually calm down the nervous system it's to remind yourself that hunger is a very normal human sensation.

It's not bad. You're not starving yourself. All you are doing is you're increasing the capacity to feel it. So. And normalizing that everyone feels a little bit of hunger. Sometimes that you're not doing it on purpose. You're not doing it to lose weight, but you're just experiencing it and you are not demonizing it anymore.

You're not thinking of it as, this is the worst thing in the world. And I have to avoid it at all costs because actually the avoiding it at all costs is the thing that is causing you to put on the weight because you're overeating in advance. So all I'm asking you to experience is the sensation of.

just get used to what it feels like in your body. Get used to the sensation and then say to yourself, listen, I can eat, but why don't I just experience it for five minutes? Why don't I just allow my body to feel this hunger and be okay with it, because then it will help you, not fear the hunger and not over eat in advance.

Okay. So what I want you to do this week is think about, are you actually fearing hunger and overeating in advance or are you actually feeling hungry? And every time you eat, always ask yourself that question. Am I actually feeling hungry or am I overeating to avoid future hunger? And with that, I will love you and leave you.

I will see you again next week. Take care. Bye.