Having an overweight child...featuring my Mum!

Hello, and welcome to the podcast ladies today, I am so excited to have the most important person in my life and my biggest role model on the podcast, my Mum! I am so excited to have you here, mum. I normally do an introduction on the podcast and things, but I don't even need to do all of that because I'm on a roll with my podcast at the moment.

Everyone has been saying that when I have a guest on it's been the most entertaining podcast and the most useful, so I wanted to bring you on because there's no one who knows me better than you. And I think it would be really useful for my clients to hear experience of my journey and how when you've had doubts or anything like that, how that has, showed up for us.

So mum, welcome to the. Thank you. I hope I can do any and more justice to what I'm saying, but let's just get up, get done with it. You know what mum you are perfect. Just the way you are. So I know that you're a little bit nervous and I just wanted to let you know, it's completely normal to feel nervous.

You know, when I did all my podcasts at the beginning, I had no clue only. Now am I like this is. Nearly 40 episodes in I'm starting to get my grief, but I still feel nervous before a podcast. So just want to tell you everything you say will be perfect because you are perfect. With that. I know I'm a bit sloppy mom.

So you're used to it - for my listeners, everyone who knows me well would know that I'm quite a sloppy person. I love my hugs and everything. And especially with mum. So, you know, when you just get a hug from mom, it just kind of like calms everything down. It makes it all better. So even though I'm in my thirties, I still crave for hugs from mum very often. Isn't it? Well, yeah, I think it's someone important once said to me, if you're hugging someone as well, you know, give them a memorable hug as opposed to a flimsy hug. So I'm definitely a hugger. Okay. So welcome to the podcast. Mum. I'm so honored to have you here, and I think let's get started with, your experience of my weight journey.

So you tell the listeners when you started worrying about my weight and any things you remember from my childhood with regards to my weight.

To be honest, you have always been a very chubby child from being a baby to. quite a long time, but I actually, started watering or maybe getting a bit conscious.

when you were around at school, you were around eight, nine, and there was a, uh, sports. And usually at school, you had to leave your PE kit there for a few weeks. And I didn't notice that, you'd grown, champion. And when I went at the sports day and you wore those clothes and I had a bit embarrassed because it was my fault that I should have checked.

Um, that you had actually put on and they were really tight. So then I, obviously after that, I started worrying about it and I'm giving you the right kind of food and thinking, okay, maybe this wasn't. when you were worried? What kinds of things did you do? Or did you say, or things like that?

to be honest, food wise, I was just used to have the basic foods, like Indian, proper Indian meal. Yeah. We tried everything in it. however, the snacks, I would reduce that. Yeah. And this is really important to know isn't it, because in our childhood we had the full Indian meals. It was very healthy food, but even then I was overweight.

Yeah. And it was because, I mean, I didn't know that then obviously I didn't know it then, but now I understand it was because I was associating when I ate, I felt better. I felt good. And I've always been a, an academic child. Isn't it? Like, you never put on any pressure for me, but I was always top of the class and Working hard and things like that. And I think at a very young age, I associated that when I ate, I felt good and I was able to kind of like, I didn't know that I had negative emotions then, but I guess when I was feeling stressed from the revising or the working or the, comparison with others and.

That's when I would eat and it would be subtly overeating and things, isn't it, it wasn't like I was bingeing on food or I think, but it was very much like, no, no, I would like an extra chip party or I would like something when I got home from school when I wasn't really hungry, but it was like, Board.

And I didn't notice these trends and probably we, we didn't know about these things. Then we just thought when a child is hungry, we give them food, but it got into a habit where I just eaten and then I was still hungry. And now I know that it was emotional hunger. I was actually probably bored or something like that, but then we didn't.

And I think that's such an important point for our listeners to know, because a lot of our listeners will have children themselves and they will start noticing that yes, their children may be starting to become overweight and things like that. So I think just starting to understand that sometimes when children say that they're hungry, it's not actually because they're physically hungry.

It's because of some emotional hunger that they are having and starting to notice the differences between. So, yeah, we'd always did have very healthy food and I was still overweight. So that was nothing to do with you, mum. That was to do with me, associating it very early on. Right. And I think also I might have seen dad doing it right.

Dad used to overeat like that all the time. Yes. I remember going to the petrol station and he always used to say, oh, let me get you a lion bar. So aligned by used to be the chocolate that we loved and my brother and I would really get excited going to the petrol station because we knew dad would buy himself something.

He would buy each of us something. And we never used to get that normally. And so it was a tree and we would always look forward to it and dad would, celebrate with food and things like that. I think in the Indian culture, it's very much like that anyways. Yeah, probably.

Yeah. You saw your dad doing that. So probably that was, you thought it was okay to do that. And interestingly, he still does that, right? Oh yeah. Yeah. And I get really annoyed when Rick says to me, you're exactly like your dad. I'm like, no, I don't want to be like that because I, you know, I mean, I love that and he's the most amazing man in the world.

But when, he says those things like, you don't have any control or things like that. I do feel a little bit, my wall comes up, you know, I get a bit defensive because of that. Right. But I do definitely see that. That's probably where I started learning it as a child. Definitely. What trends did you see in my weight?

when it went up or down, like what, what trends did you see? usually I, I noticed that when you had, uh, exams, I didn't worry about food at that time, because I knew that with food, you revise the better. So I. Provided you with food every few hours or, things like that.

So then I did notice that, just after your exams you had, so yeah, so that was one of the things that I noticed. Yeah. And isn't that so interesting because as a loving mum, all you wanted to do is make sure that I was okay. And provide me with nutritious food. So it wasn't like you were providing me with unhealthy food, but I was eating much more often than I normally would.

Right. And even if it was vegetables, fruit, if it was like, you know, um, shark and Rutley like, the actual traditional Indian meals, even then I was putting on the weight because I was eating more than my body actually needed. Right. And it was actually to get rid of some of the stress of the exams too.

Make me feel better and that's what I'd always done. So if I was then saying to you as your daughter, mom, I want some food you were thinking best the least I can do, right? Yeah, exactly. So that she'd be wise and I do not want her to, feel that she needs something and then come off her revising zone and, waste time to be on.

That was what I was thinking. No, I need to provide. whenever she asked for something so that she can revise in peace. Yeah. And I think that was probably your innate motherly instinct. Isn't it? Mom, it's kind of like, I want to make sure my baby's okay. Even when I'm like a 30 something year old baby, you're still, you're still like that.

You're just the most loving woman I know. Right. You're always making sure I'm okay. The kids are okay. Rick's like all of us. Right. And that. Innate instinct in you that you just want to care and provide. And I think also as a Indian mum, that's what we do as well. Isn't it? Like it's in our culture, we show love by, by providing food.

Yeah. And so this was your way of showing me. you were doing it from the utmost, you know, just caring about me, but sometimes even the people that care about us the most, because they don't want us to suffer. That's when we use food to make it better. I know before I started getting coached, I used to do the same things with my kids.

Like, oh, do you want a treat? If he's just stop crying, I'll give you a treat. And only recently have I realized. That's just not helping the situation because we are then encouraging that feeling negative emotion is bad. We shouldn't be feeling this. And if you stop feeling better, then I will reward you with food.

Yes. Yeah. It doesn't help all the time. But sometimes I still do with my grandkids. Yeah. Because, sometimes you have to actually, Stop them crying. Yeah. But I still do that. Mom. You don't need to apologize a tool. This is just in the sense that I've just noticed this, that I've been doing this and I'm the coach.

Right. So I will try and make these changes. I don't expect you to change at all. You're perfect the way you are. But when I notice it, I'm like, oh, hold on. This is me propagating what I've done in my childhood. And it led me to being overweight. So I just want to make these few changes for. For the boys anyway.

Okay. So it's really interesting. Isn't it? I gained weight after exams and things all the time. I remember it was cushy. It's weddings of cushions, my brother, and I remember it was his wedding and I'd put on weight before the wedding and I wanted to lose weight to get into the outfit that we'd bought.

Isn't it. And, um, it took about a good month or two to get back down to the weight that I was at. Right. Yeah. And what kind of things would I do? You worked quite hard to lose it. Sometimes you would go on just overly diets. Like the one I can remember is the maple syrup and the lemon one. Oh God, I thought this is not done for three days.

You did that. And I felt, why is she punishing us? Yeah. but sometimes it was. Um, sometimes it worked, you didn't a lot of swimming to get down to. wait, hold on. Let's just go back to the lemon maple syrup one, right? That was one of the most awful diets. I tried, I remember doing it a few times and it worked at the time.

Of course it worked, but it was never sustainable. And I would never keep the weight off. I would always put on way more weight afterwards. Right. And I remember another one that I did was the raspberry ketone one where I took supplements. Do you remember that? I don't actually, you never taught me about that.

Oh gosh. You know what it's probably because I hid it from you because I was probably ashamed that I was now on another diet and I knew that you'd probably think it was. And at that time, I didn't have insight thinking yeah. Is extreme. I was kind of like, this is just what I do. You know, I lose the weight and I was looking for that quick fix.

And obviously it wasn't a quick fix. It, it worked maybe for the few days that I was taking it. And then I ended up gaining even more weight. So I know my listeners can really relate to this because all of my clients who've come to me. They've been in this exact same boat. They've tried all of these extreme things.

They want the quick fix, but actually the, there is no quick fix. There is no one thing that, resolves all the problems. Right. And solves all the problems. Yep. When did I first start dieting mum?

I can't remember, but maybe when you were around 13, I think we started, I started weight Watchers and you started with me. not that I encouraged you to do it, but you wanted to lose weight. So you did it with me. I was thinking that with Indian food, you can never, cook without oil or, but I tried and it really worked for me and I actually maintained it for quite a long time.

You didn't. I don't know how come you didn't pay to understand. Well, what went wrong? Yeah. So I think that that's so interesting to understand isn't it, we were eating the exact same foods. I was eating the exact same amount as you. We were like weighing it. We were counting points. We were doing all the things, but the difference was that I didn't maintain the weight and you did.

And I think that the difference for me was that I didn't find it maintainable, so I didn't carry on doing it. What we had started off doing, I felt restricted. I felt like I was still very hungry. I felt like I can't live this way for the rest of my life, counting my points. So it's kind of like, I think there was a rebel in me that said, no, I don't want this anymore.

It's not working anyway. So let me just give up. Yeah. So this shows up so much in my clients as well. Any diet works, you can do any diet under the sun. The thing that doesn't work is when you just give up. And when you think, you know what this isn't working anymore, let me give up because that gets you further away from your goal.

So the main thing that I work with my clients on is choosing something that works for them and maintaining it. Losing weight in a way that they're going to be able to eat this way for the rest of their life and that they don't feel restricted, that they're choosing their own foods. So they, they're not like thinking, oh my gosh, she's giving me this, meal plan.

And it's really restrictive. They get to choose what they eat, which is why their primitive brain gets on board, their protein brain. Oh, hold on. I'm choosing the food. So there's no point in me rebelling against it because I'm just rebelling against myself, right? Yeah. So I do remember actually weight Watchers.

It was one of my cousin's weddings and, we were losing weight for that. And yeah, I love that. You said that we were doing the same thing and you maintained it and I didn't, and I think it was so much to do with the mine management then. And obviously, I didn't know about all of that. Okay. Tell me. So you started off saying about the swimming and things.

I remember that when I was getting married, tell me about what I did before, my wedding. You were, at the gym, for hours, you did lots of swimming. You did a lot of exercise and obviously. Food you, control what you eat. So I don't think you had a specific diet that time, but you did a lot of exercise and you actually lost a lot of weight and looked really, really good.

Um, thank you. Ma'am I think I looked good at the wedding, but it was a lot of, restrictions. I didn't eat much at all. And I burnt more than 2000 calories a day burning in the gym 2000 calories a day. That's why I was at the gym for like nearly three hours. Yeah. And I only ate up to a thousand. So in those days I thought calories in calories out was the way.

But now I realize, obviously I've learned about the science of weight loss and things, and that, that just doesn't work. So if you haven't, understood this, or if you, if you wanted to hear more, I'd recommend you going back to listen to the hunger hormones podcast and the physical versus emotional hunger put cost.

Cause that will help. you understand about the science of weight loss. Yeah, it was obviously not something that I could maintain. Right. Because I was, able to get down to 51 kilos for my wedding and yes, I looked great. But I think within a year I put on three stones. Yes you did. Yeah.

And It was the first year of my marriage and it was adjusting to married life. It was doing some awful shifts at the hospital. Cause I remember I was in a, and at the time and doing night shifts and 13 hour shifts and it was all kind of all over the place and it really impacted my food and I would hugely ovary.

I remember being in the. a and E waiting room and there was no food and I didn't have any time because there was just so many patients coming in. And I remember having six rich tea biscuits in a row just to get some energy. And this was a regular occurrence then, because my brain thought you don't have enough time for anything else.

it was in survival mode. Yeah. So I do remember I'd put on a lot of weight then, right? How did that impact, my clothes and things like that. So you bought clothes left, right. And center all different sizes, thinking that, okay, if I get this big, then I can wear this. And then if I get smaller than I can wear this.

And in that time you must have bought. I don't know so many clothes that some, obviously you didn't, you'd never managed to where it was just sitting there and you wanted to keep them just to think that no, no, I will use them. Yeah. So that is something that's really interesting because what I was doing is I was buffering with the overshopping.

I didn't think it was over shopping in the moment I thought I was just shopping. I thought I was just doing something, you know, that everyone does. I didn't realize in the moment that I wasn't buffering with food anymore because I was trying to manage my weight and things, but I would overbuy because I got that dopamine hit in the moment.

I felt so good when I bought it, but there was always a net negative. I always would then look at all the things that I was hoarding in my house. It was like piles and piles and piles of clothes or things that I didn't really need. And. Also then when I looked at my bank account and I was like, wait, why am I spending all of this money on?

Like, I don't even need this stuff. And I'm like, you know, spending it. So whenever you're buffering, what you're trying to do is you're trying to create some pleasure in the moment because you're trying to push away the negative emotion. Remember, life is meant to be 50, 50, right? You're meant to have negative emotion, 50% of the time.

So when we want to push that away by doing overeating over drinking over. Even overworking sometimes that. Always going to be a false pleasure and there's always going to be a net negative. Then we're always going to have some sort of negative consequence from that. But I learned that the hard way, because I had thousands and thousands and thousands of pounds worth of clothes, just sitting there.

And I kept thinking, you know what, I'm going to get into them. So I would basically, it was like that scarcity, wasn't it? It was like, I can't let go of them because then what will happen if I let go of them, then I'll just have to buy them again. And it was also because I kept thinking, there's no way that I'm going to lose weight and keep it.

Yeah. So I wanted to keep the bigger sizes just in case, but also I didn't want to give into the, to the belief that I would never get to my goal weight. So then I had sizes from a size six all the way to a size 22, all those in between. Just imagine how many clothes I had. No. Yeah. Okay. Tell the listeners what happened around my birth and when I'd given birth to very who's my second son and I was the heaviest I ever was.

Right. So that time you, came to my house, because you had some work done at your house. So I obviously wanted to provide you with food. That was good for you. In the sense that you didn't have the strength to look after the child. So I thought if I give you like, food that is, will give you strength, I kept, insisting that you must get this so that you don't get back or you don't get this, And providing all that food probably, didn't do much good anyway.

Interesting. you felt no, you needed to eat more so because you were feeding the baby. So yeah, you kept painting. So yeah, I think I had also the thought, because I was breastfeeding, I was like, oh, I need to eat. So I had that thought era that the more I eat, the more I'm providing for my baby, but actually what happened is I just kept getting bigger.

Right. And I thought a lot of people say, oh, when you breastfeed, you'll lose a lot of weight. I gained a lot because I was so much hungrier. And also you were giving me foods that you thought gave me energy. Right? So I was having a lot of sugar and flour. I remember there was a whole box of Messiah that you'd made.

And you said every time you're breastfeeding, you can just have a little bit of this in my head. I was like, result. I get to eat this. This is like something that I would never have allowed myself to eat before. And it had lots of. But, uh, and sugar and things that would normally give us energy.

And the thing with me is I was like, oh, okay, this is helping my baby. So it's like, I learn how to justify eating and overeating it so that I would think that, oh, no, I'm doing it for my baby. But really what I was doing is I was doing it for myself. And I ended up putting on a lot of weight. Yes. And so that just highlights, isn't it?

That a lot of the times people around you are just doing things to look out for you. Right? They're doing things because they love you because they want to help you out. And this was just an example of that, isn't it? Mum, you were just trying to make sure that I was eating well.

I'd just given birth to your grandchild and I, and you were just making sure that I was feeding the baby. Well, and I was fed. But for me, that was making me much hungrier and it was. Probably not suiting me, but I wasn't able to tell you in the moment really. And also I think there was a bit of people pleasing there.

I was thinking my mum is my idol. I can't tell her no, I don't want to eat this. And can you make this for me? Because she knows. And I need to do what she says now you were never pressurizing, but it was just me in my own head. I was thinking, no, no, no, she knows. She knows. Let me just go with what she says.

And so there was that people pleasing behavior. I think wasn't it. Like, I don't want mum to be upset at me. Let me just eat it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that shows up a lot as well. Isn't it? Especially with my clients and things, they're like, oh, I can't say no to that person. offering me food. I need to eat it.

They're going to feel, feel. And so that comes up a lot. Isn't it, people pleasing all, they are going to be offended if I don't eat it, or what are they going to think of me? Or they're going to think that I'm on a diet again. So I don't want that to happen. So let me just. Yes, definitely. Especially the south Asian culture, it's all about food, right?

So when you go to someone's house, they're going to always bring out food. And then for you to be able to say, well, actually, no, I'm full right now. I don't need to eat. This is what I teach my clients how to do, what are the most important things, because they're like, I don't know how to say no to that.

Auntie who keeps offering me food. And so we learn how to say no to others so that we can say yes to ourselves sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. So I think there was a time where I then started intermittent fasting. And what was your view on that mum? Oh, I thought is she going on about, you know, eating

just once a day or twice a day when I started, I was doing twice a day.

Wasn't it? Yeah. Initially. and I thought this is not going to work. And one of our, another diets. and then obviously I saw you carrying on for a year or so. And you actually, and this was COVID time and I saw you after. A long time.

No, ma'am I think that was during COVID time. That's when I got coached. But before that, I remember I was doing intermittent fasting for a long time. Right. But you used to think that it was like really, restrictive. Was it wasn't it

because obviously we've been brought up to think breakfast is the most important meal of the day. You must eat regularly. Otherwise. Ruin your metabolism. And obviously, because we've been learning that to then go to something that seems like the complete opposite, it was really hard. It was hard for me as well, but then when I'd read all the science and stuff, I convinced myself, but I think I needed to be strong in my own desire to lose weight and be healthy because everyone around me during that time, didn't agree.

They thought what's wrong with you? Here's another diet that you're doing. I remember so many family members like took me to the side and said, I'm worried about you. I think you've got an eating disorder. And I said, no, this isn't an eating disorder at all. I'm still eating plenty of food.

All I'm doing is I'm eating it in a way that lowers my incident. And so there was a long time where I had to just be okay with other people, not agreeing with me and not approving what of, what I was doing. Even though I knew that deep down, I knew that this was the right thing for me, right? Yeah.

Yeah. And then what happened when you started fasting? Yes. I still am in people that still don't agree with quite a few friends and relatives and they just think that, what am I doing? But I actually enjoy doing that. And I'm actually. Really, but used to it initially, I didn't get used to it and I was thinking of giving up.

Yeah. and then, you coached me a little bit. I did, and I kept on doing it and I just am still doing it and I love it. Yeah. And I, can say no to my friends when they're going out and. Okay. why aren't you coming? Because I don't really feel like it I've been feeling like eating at that time because my, time has passed.

Like my window is closed. Yeah. So I, um, I'm quite happy doing it and I'm quite happy to say to my friends that, no, this is how I wanted. And I'm, I'm happy to. Yeah. Do you know that is a big deal for you mum, because you're a people pleaser as well. Aren't you definitely not anymore. You're right. So you used to be a people pleaser, and now you are so much more able to say, you know what?

that doesn't see. Yeah, I'm not going to do that. You can even say no to me a lot more now, as well before when I asked you about childcare or anything you would say yes. Yes, yes. And Rick used to say to me, you need to like, you know, not keep asking your mom for childcare, but now you're able to say, I'm not free, then I'm not gonna, be able to look after the boys or whatever, which is probably really hard for you to do.

Hmm. It is because I, I think that I need time for myself as well. Yes. I'm choosing. To do that before. I never did that. Yeah. How has that benefited you? Because I, I have my own time, my own space and I do things that I want to do. so yeah, it's working really well. Yeah. And I've noticed also that you're much calmer when you have time for yourself.

Yes, I tend to not worry about. About others. I just think that if I don't like it, it's my problem. I need to sort that out. Yeah. And who could do on that? Huh?

Yeah. Okay. I wanted your opinion on, you said, a few things to me. So after I'd started intermittent fasting and everything, I had 42 kilos to lose and I was able to over two and a half years, trying all the diets under the sun lose 21 of those kilos.

But then by the end of that, I was doing one meal a day, intermittent fasting, low carb and intense exercise. And I was still not losing any more weight. So that's when I decided to get coached. That was life coaching and it was learning the mind management tools to learn how to process my urges, to plan my food, to pay attention to my own.

Body's hunger. To start managing my mind and start noticing what are those thoughts that I've been thinking for? Like probably all my life that aren't really helping me now. And how can I choose to think of things differently? And the most important thing that I learned was how to feel my emotions because when I then was feeling bored in the evenings and I would normally go to food, I didn't need to go to food anymore.

When I was feeling. Disappointed that something didn't go my way then I didn't need to go and have an extra handful of nights. I could actually just feel the emotion. Right. So what did you notice after I got coached? Cause this is what you were saying about this was COVID time and everything. So what happened then?

To be really honest, I noticed quite a lot of change in you. I remember you, Getting really upset over some things and just ringing me and say, I need to talk to you. I need to talk to somebody and getting really, strong feelings as a, you know, this is not right. And after you'd been coached, I, I don't get those calls.

Oh, interesting. And it looks like you've managed to get your. Emotions in control. And obviously you, you have one or two rank, but not as drastic as before. How interesting. I did not know that, that I used to do that much more. Yeah. Yeah. And you notice something with the kids as well. What was that kids obviously, you used to really be angry before with them.

shout at them. And obviously now you're much calmer with them and, you let them do what they want, but then you make them understand that this is not right, but in a much. How interesting. And it's so phenomenal that you notice that about me, as opposed to me saying, mum, am I comma, mum? Am I like, you know, normally I would like you to notice, but when you said it to me, I was like, oh, I did not even know that that was happening.

Right. That is so fun to see that someone, everyone else around you is noticing that you're. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So I love that. I love that. That's the impact of coaching. It doesn't just affect you. Even though I went in to get coached for my weight. It impact my relationship with my husband. My relationship with you, I was also like much comma with you as much more able to understand you and your emotions and coach you.

And I was able to have a much better relationship with the boys and actually be that present mum that I wanted to, which is so fun because this is like, what. Wanted right. I mean, I never knew that weight loss, well, coaching would be able to provide this for me. But remember when you learned the tools in one aspect, when I learned how to process my emotions with regards to my food or my urges, this applies to all areas of your life, which is why the whole of your life will change.

So tell the listeners what we did recently with regards to all of those codes, those hundred thousands of pounds of codes that we had recently. what did we do with. Oh, that took it home. That took one whole day to Stuart and, uh, lots and lots of clothes went to charity with on. Yeah. And, I think the charity is going to do so well with it.

I honestly think it was thousands and thousands and thousands of pounds worth of. clouds and what this symbolized to me, mum was me letting go of my old self mean leaving the old me behind me. And you know, these clothes, they symbolized that big weight I had on me of. All of that excess weight that I had on my body, these excess clothes that I had, but I'd never touched this scarcity mentality.

I have to hold on to it just in case I'm going to put on the weight again or whatever. I feel so generous because I'm like, do you know what? Let's just give it to charity. I don't need to keep those size clothes anymore. I know that I'm not going to gain the weight. And if I do, it will be a few kilos here and there.

And I don't need to change my whole wardrobe. And if I do gain weight now it's not a big deal. I know exactly what I need to do to get back. And it's normal for there to be some weight fluctuation. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, it was such a big deal because it felt like leaving the old me behind.

So even Rick's like, oh my gosh, our house is so much less cluttered now because you're like getting rid of so much stuff. He's like, I wish you were like this before. I'm like, yeah, I'm at least I'm I'm on board now, right? Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. So mama, any last things that you would like to tell my listeners?

Um, Really just follow your, your heart. actually you need to give time to yourself. That's what I would say. Yeah. And, and believe in yourself, sometimes people say things to you, and you feel at that time that it's wrong of you to do something, but if you believe in yourself and you think you're doing it right, I think that's the best thing.

Yes. So what I take away from that. Other people may not agree with what you're doing. That's okay. But if you've got that deep desire within you and you know, you want to repair that relationship with yourself, you know, you want to lose weight. You know that it's not just about the diet and the exercise.

It's actually more to do with your emotions and how you react to things and your relationship with yourself. Just to have that belief and take, action on it. And I would be honored to help you. So if you would like any extra help on this, you can go to my website, www.amruticoaching.com, and I'm enrolling for my main group.

So I'm doing free concerts all the way up until may. So it'd be honored to help you with that mum. I just wanted to say this has been such a phenomenal podcast. Thank you so much for all of your insight and all of your wisdom and kind of being so open and vulnerable about. Everything to do with growing up, being a parent of an overweight child, how it was for you and everything I think is going to be so useful for all of my listeners to hear your point of view.

So thank you, mom. I love you so much. And I really, I really appreciate you coming on. Thank you.  Bye.