The truth about uncertainty

 Hello everyone and welcome to the podcast. I'm so happy to have you here. And today's episode was inspired by one of the, the videos that I recorded on Instagram, and I love to record videos when I'm out on my morning walk because that's when my creativity flows. So I was doing this video on uncertainty and it hit me that I literally haven't talked about it on the podcast, and I thought that it would be a really useful thing to talk about on the podcast. So that's why I'm bringing it to you today. So when I think about uncertainty, I think about everything in life being uncertain. If you think about it, there's not really any certainty that we actually have, but the only un, the only certainty that we have in life is that life is uncertain.

But if you think about it, our brain, it craves certainty. It wants to know what will happen because remember, our primitive brain wants us to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and stay how we are. It wants to know what's gonna happen so that it can prepare for it. So this is the reason why. It wants to kind of think in all or nothing thinking.

It wants to basically create some certainty in the possibility of outcomes. So how this can show up in your weight loss journey is often my clients think, Hey, I either stick to my plan or I've completely failed. Instead of thinking of all the things in between, Right. It could be, Hey, yeah, I stick to my plan 90% of the time, but it's 10% of the time I'm gonna go off plan and that's completely fine.

Right. Or, it may show up with, I either drink one glass of wine as per my plan, or I drink all of the, the wine in the bottle and I'm addicted to. Right. So can you see that all or nothing thinking the brain wants that because it wants to crave certainty. It wants to know what the two possible outcomes are because it's easier to like create certainty in two possible outcomes rather than the a hundred outcomes that it could possibly be in between.

So because the brain wants certainty in the actual outcomes, it's always going to offer that rule or nothing Thinking. So when we can understand that, we can lovingly understand that the brain is just trying to create some certainty in an uncertain situation. And in reality, everything is uncertain, right?

Because we don't know what's gonna happen in life. We don't know if we're gonna even survive, you know, up until tomorrow, every time we go to sleep, we don't think, Oh, I'm not gonna survive in the morning. We think about what we're gonna do the next day. We just choose to believe that of course we're gonna be like, uh, alive and surviving, and so we are going to do X, Y, and Z tomorrow.

So we're creating certainty in an uncertain situation, right? When you go outside in the car, you don't think that I'm going to be run over by a car. But as you know, like nothing is certain. We don't know what's going to happen, but we choose to believe that we are gonna get to work and that we will be completely fine.

Right? So we are creating certainty in an uncertain situation. Basically what we're doing is we're choosing to believe something and um, just believing that even though we have no evidence for it, we don't have evidence for so many things that happen in our life, but we still choose to believe. Things like religion.

So many people choose to believe in God, even though there's no way of, um, actually deciding that there is a God, right? So many people choose to believe it because that helps them in their life. It helps provide some sort of certainty and stability in their life, right? So we choose to believe things that will actually help us.

So in this same way, you can choose to like, believe whatever you want in your weight loss journey. Whenever you think about uncertainty, whenever you think that like, Oh gosh, I don't know what's going to happen, that's when your brain is gonna freak out. It's gonna think, Oh, well this may be dangerous.

I'll never, I'll never get there. Um, I'll put one all the weight back again. And you're gonna think about all the worst case scenarios because the brain doesn't like uncertainty. Also what it likes to do is it likes to go back to what has happened in the past to try and get some sort of certainty, right?

It tries to look back at previous, um, weight loss attempts. And the reason why you're listening to this podcast is because you've struggled with previous weight loss attempts, right? So whenever your brain is trying to create certainty, even if it goes to the past, it's going to use the past as evidence for the future.

It's gonna think, Hey, I wasn't able to stick to that last. I wasn't able to eat on plan. I wasn't able to, um, eat to enough at a buffet. So that means I'm not gonna be able to do it. So I see this so often on ladies who are coming on consults. They want it so badly. They are like so, um, like desperate for this solution.

And they really resonate with everything that I talk about. But the thing that sometimes holds them back is they are basing their current, um, They're basing their future success on their past, um, failures. So they're thinking, Oh, I wasn't able to achieve it in the past. So their brain is not able to think in the possibility of, Hey, this is, this could be possible for me.

And when your brain does that, you are just gonna be creating the same thing again and again. Because if you are trying to create new results from the same mind, you're never gonna be able to do that. So this is why you want to up level your mind. You want to think thoughts that are actually gonna fuel you to create that success in the future.

Because if it's your thoughts that create your results, nothing else like really matters. It doesn't matter what your, what you've done in the past, because that's in the past. You can choose to think thoughts about your past in a way that actually serves you. I choose to think thoughts about every other weight loss attempt as it being necessary so that I could find coaching and so that I could actually get to the root cause of the problem.

I like to think of, you know, the things that I did with Weight Watchers and Sliming World to, you know, be like, Hey, I tried those things and they really didn't work for me. I didn't like weighing my food and counting my points, and counting my macros and my calories and things like that. I hated that. And so this is like, they were essential for me, for me to find that out, right?

So only then am I gonna be able to like, be coached and be like, Hey, I get to create my own plan. I get to create my own protocol. I get to eat exactly what I want every single day. I get to plan what I want, and um, I get to change my plan according to what's going on for me. Like this is the most flexible way of eating for me, and I love this.

Right? So, can you see. You want to choose thoughts that are gonna actually help fuel you. And the only way that your brain, um, is set on default is to basically, um, create certainty in an uncertain situation. So if you're thinking about like doing anything new, your brain is always gonna offer you all the thoughts not to do that.

It's gonna say you shouldn't do that. It's scary. Let's just carry on doing what we're currently doing because it wants you to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and stay how you are. And when you are staying how you are, then you are safe in the brain's eyes. But what happens is when you are not embracing the uncertainty and you're just thinking about the negative, what then happens is you are missing out on the possibility of it being absolutely amazing.

So, for example, if you're going for a new job, if you're constantly thinking about how it's gonna be really hard and it's, um, gonna be different to what you've done before and it's gonna be really stressful and you have to travel really far for work and, um, you are not gonna have people that you know there, then you are missing out on the possibility of you, um, getting the opportunity to do new things, of earning more money, of building an even richer network.

Of having even, um, deeper meaningful relationships with your colleagues, like you're missing out on the possibility of that when you're constantly stuck in the on the negative, right? So what you wanna try and do is try and look for the possibility of this actually working for you. So with the ladies coming on the consults, considering the group coaching program, if they're constantly thinking about, this is very different to what I've done before.

This is very scary. I dunno if I'll be able to keep it off. I haven't been able to keep weight off in the past before. And they're just in that, in that mindset, then they're not gonna be successful. But what they're then doing is they're missing out on the possibility of, Oh my gosh, this could be the solution to their weight loss struggles for the rest of their life.

They don't ever need to worry about their, their food or their weight ever again. They get to build up that relationship with themselves that they have truly crowed for all of their lives. They get to be kind to themselves in any area of their life as opposed to just their food. They get to. Be that kind, loving, um, like friend that they normally always, um, go to someone external for.

They get to actually be that for themselves. They get to like embrace every single emotion in their life and be in their life rather than like, you know, do things to push away those emotions. They get to actually experience the authentic human experience they get to like really. Be present with their kids when they're there, rather than like, you know, scrolling on their phone to escape.

They get to really enjoy date night with their partner instead of thinking, Oh, I need to have dessert to make this, um, an even more amazing experience. So, do you see what I'm saying? When they are thinking of the possibility of this actually working for them, then that's what they're gonna create for themselves.

So you want to hold both, both things. Of course, you're gonna be scared because you're trying something new and you've never done that before. But you've also got to like turn up the positive thoughts like I talked about in the, in the last podcast where. You are actually thinking about, Hey, this is possible for me too.

And when I'm like, when I've got uncertainty, when I don't know which way it's gonna pan out, which way do I choose to believe? Am I gonna choose to think of all the negative stuff? Because then if I think that that's what I'm gonna create, or am I gonna give myself the opportunity and the, uh, ability to think of that positive, to think, Hey, maybe this is actually possible for me.

And actually when you are thinking maybe this is possible for me, that's what you're gonna create. When you are thinking, this is the last time that I ever am gonna, um, lose weight for the rest of my life. That's what you create. And then you, you are in maintenance because it's your thoughts that create your results.

Now, you may find this like very foreign and very, um, unbelievable because that may not have been the way you have been, um, functioning. You may have been thinking, Okay, the more I do, the more likely I'm gonna be to create that result. And I see where you're coming from. You've already been doing so much in your weight loss journey, right?

And so the only reason that you're doing more and more and more because you're trying to create more and more certainty that this is the way it's going to go. But sometimes what that hap, what happens with that is that you then end up burning yourself out in the weight loss journey cuz you're just doing so much and it's just not sustainable for you, right?

So if you think about it in this way, you never know what's gonna happen. You never know what's gonna happen, even in your weight loss journey. But when you choose to like embrace that possibility, then that is what becomes your reality, because at the end of the day, life is uncertain. You don't know which way it's gonna go.

So why would you choose to think of it in a way that is going to like create a negative outcome for yourself? The only way to create a positive outcome is to think a thought that you currently actually believe about your weight loss journey. About uncertainty, about not knowing. And some of the things that I've been experiencing in my own kind of journey is being okay with not knowing what's going to happen and actually just trusting my ability to figure out no matter what, trusting my ability to be able to take it one step at a time and not know like what's gonna happen in a.

Trusting my ability to look after myself and my family no matter what happens. Trusting my ability to be able to be resourceful and, you know, um, find the best solution for me in the moment and only when I'm able to like, let things be. Instead of wanting to change everything to feel better, that's when I actually feel better when I just, I'm able to be present with what is and not need to change it to feel better, because the only thing that's actually gonna change my inner experience is my thinking about that situation.

I was getting a lot of, um, worry and, and money scarcity and things that came up recently. And I was like, Wait, what is going on? I haven't had this, like, for years what's happening? And I think it was the, the recession and things that were coming up. And even though like my circumstances weren't like really, really, like, I wasn't struggling or anything, but there was a part of my brain that was like worrying and that was fearing.

And it was, I realized it was basically the fear of uncertainty from being a doctor, getting a regular salary to being an entrepreneur where I create my own salary. I, I could see that my brain was starting to freak out a little bit about uncertainty, and that's when I had to really just be in the moment and, and choose to believe that actually I'm very resourceful.

I'm very like, um, I'm very, what's the word? Um, I figure things out. I'm able to problem solve and you know, I've never been in a situation where I've not been able to figure anything out. And yes, things don't happen that I, that I always want. Like that's life, right? Things, you know, it's gonna be 50:50 a lot of the time.

I'm disappointed a lot of the time I'm in fear. I'm, a lot of the time I'm feeling shame and things like that, but that is just part of the human experience. And so when I'm feeling these negative emotion, Don't make it mean that there's something wrong with me. I just make it mean that this is just my brain's way of trying to figure out how to like go forward now.

And the more I can actually be in those emotions rather than run away from them, the more I can just be in the uncertainty. The more I can just feel uncertain and not make it mean that something has gone wrong, the more I can, like, I'm willing to feel the uncertainty, the more certainty I. In my own body, in my own thinking, in my own self-concept as a person, because that's the only certainty you really have, right?

The belief in you. The belief in how you are gonna be able to deal with things no matter what happens. So I'm gonna leave you with that today. How can you be certain in your own self, in your own ability, in your own willingness to make things happen for yourself, even though life is uncertain? Because that is the truth.

You don't know what's gonna happen. But at the end of the day, when you choose to believe that, yes, everything is uncertain, but I choose to think thoughts about myself, think thoughts about the program that I'm going to enroll in, think thoughts about this job that I'm going to apply for that actually help me.

That's when uncertainty doesn't become a problem because you believe in yourself regardless of what happens, and not in a place of like, not from a place of arrogance or something, but from a place of, I actually trust in me. I actually trust in my ability to create this result. And even if I may not have created this result in the past, now this one is different because I choose to think that this is different.

I choose to believe that this time is the time that I'm going to, um, make it happen. And that's where the mind management comes in, right? Because when you can identify what the thoughts standing in your way, that's when it becomes permanent, right? If you keep doing the same things that you've always done and then keep trusting that it's gonna.

That may not work because you are not actually doing anything to change the underlying thought patterns. So when you are changing the underlying thought patterns and um, believing that this is the thing that's gonna work for you, that's when it actually will work for you, right? So I urge you to think about uncertainty in a slightly different way this time.

How can you be uncertain? How can you be certain in the uncertainty and. Like build up that self concept of yourself, that you will figure it out no matter what, and that no matter what happens, you will be okay. And with that, I will see you next week. Take care ladies. Bye.